We all have personality traits we may not particularly like.
For me, it’s impatience.
Productive or impatient by nature?
This, too, started becoming clear to me only a few years ago. And so began the journey of “healing”—or rather, learning to live with the trait, accepting it, and finding the right ways to respond. So I am both. I can get a lot done even in a short amount of time. I’m one of those people who draws from inspiration, and if that inspiration tells me to wash my suitcase today, then today I’ll wash the suitcase. However, if there’s no known trip in sight, impatience steps onto the stage in the near future. And I wrestled with it all day yesterday—hard.
Achilles’ heel
That impatience.
It’s a bad trait because it draws in anxiety, fear, stress, rush, and pressure. It’s been like an addiction. Like trying to wean yourself off sugar or coffee—things that have been part of you since youth. I’ve also found help in God for this. Surprise, surprise. A friend helps too. But they must be aware of the issue, my goal, and also be at a higher level themselves in that moment, so that I can pull myself out of my own low. But the actual work must be done by oneself.
When impatience takes the lead, intuition gets drowned
Intuition means instinct, a hunch, or inner knowing that doesn’t rely on conscious reasoning. Impatience relies solely on conscious reasoning. It’s the one that notices a few specks of dust on the suitcase and concludes you haven’t been anywhere and aren’t going anywhere. And what does it tell you to do? Book a trip immediately. It detects a problem—or evidence of one—and tells you to fix it now. Because this action goes against intuition, nothing usually works out. The best solution: do nothing. Yesterday I tried to do all sorts of things to calm my mind. Pleasant little distractions to soothe my impatience. I even went into the forest to pick blueberries but ended up in deeper frustration—until I gave up completely.
Surrender
When I gave up, I raised my hands and said, “I’m wrestling with this impatience and anxiety again. I don’t know what to do with it, so I hand it over to You in Heaven. You toss it around and replace it with patience and clarity. I thank You for the peace and calm You’ve given me.”
And instantly the weight lifted off my shoulders, and I felt completely exhausted. The only things that came to mind were the unfinished novel and a tub of ice cream in the freezer. So I spent the afternoon on the balcony reading, with my mouth tasting of fresh blueberries and vanilla ice cream. It didn’t just magically vanish—impatience still lingered at every turn. But from that moment on, intuition began to rise alongside. I followed it blindly, and by the evening, I was my radiant and balanced self again.
Faith is a wonderful thing
It truly opens doors. Many of them. Life has become significantly easier and more miraculous.
I’m genuinely grateful for everything I receive and everything I have. After yesterday’s battle, it was wonderful to notice how this article practically wrote itself. The rational, reasoning mind cannot see the outcome of our actions. It interprets a Wednesday afternoon spent reading a novel as laziness—because we’ve been taught that work is the only real way forward. As I said, I worked all day yesterday. I wrestled, I struggled, and I acted, from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep. Today, I picked the berries that had ripened from that effort.
Believe in yourself and trust your intuition.
Sometimes the right way forward is to let go and trust that everything will work out perfectly.
Wishing you a blooming and perfect day as well 💖
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