Over the past few weeks, I have found myself encountering discussions about leadership again and again. What is leadership, really? For years, many of us have wondered why so many people rise into leadership positions, speak confidently, and yet eventually crumble under pressure. Why don’t they endure?
A couple of weeks ago, I attended a four-day training event in Vaasa, where students from our program had gathered from all over Finland. We were a cheerful, slightly nervous group. We were divided into table groups made up mostly of strangers. I did not know anyone in my group beforehand, so there was nothing to do but introduce ourselves and get acquainted. People truly are wonderful, and I was blessed with an exceptionally lovely group of individuals.
The training lasted four days. Since we are studying psychology and will eventually graduate as therapists, we were challenged in very real ways. The subject matter was not easy, and neither was the schedule. Our days lasted between ten and twelve hours. Several times, each group was asked to step onto the stage and participate in exercises, including improvised role-playing performances.
When Leadership Is Reflected in the Experience of Others
Acting or performing anything other than being myself is not exactly my comfort zone. You can probably imagine how many times during those days I silently prayed for the right words and for God’s guidance. It did not help that the audience was full of people who could seemingly sense emotional states from the smallest facial expression. In many ways, we were standing completely exposed before one another.
One of the best things about this training program is its positive approach. Our final assignment was to recognize the strengths we saw in one another. We gave personal, positive feedback around our tables. Each person took turns sharing what they appreciated about someone else.
I was genuinely surprised when several people described me as a good leader and a good shepherd. Those were their words, not mine.
What made it even more meaningful was that these people knew nothing about my background or previous experiences. They had no idea what I had done elsewhere in life or even what I had contributed to my own training group during those four days. Their observations were based solely on how I had interacted with this table group during that short period of time.
A Good Shepherd Does Not Lead Alone
As I was leaving, someone from my own training group gave me one final piece of feedback. “It’s incredible how you always seem to say exactly the words that need to be heard in that moment.”
The truth is that I had not even had a private conversation with this person during the entire training. They had only heard my comments during group discussions and presentations.
One of the blessings of studying at a Christian therapy institute is that I was able to give the same answer to everyone who offered such encouragement:
“It wasn’t me. God did it.“
Why Recruitment Doesn’t Always Recognize True Leaders
The following day, one of my classmates shared a video with our group. In it, Sami Miettinen interviewed Liisa Keltikangas-Järvinen about her book The Age of Selfishness: How Our Excessively Individualistic Culture Makes Us Unhappy, published in January 2026. (To my knowledge, an English edition has not yet been released. https://www.bonnierrights.fi/books/the-age-of-selfishness-how-our-overtly-individualistic-culture-makes-us-unhappy/)
Unfortunately, the interview is not subtitled in English, but I will include it at the end of this article for Finnish-speaking readers. Video: Tämä käytös oli 80-luvulla luonnehäiriö | Liisa Keltikangas-Järvinen
At one point in the interview (35:44), the discussion turned to leadership and the author’s criticism of modern leaders. Keltikangas-Järvinen clarified: “Actually, my criticism was not aimed at leaders themselves. My strongest criticism is directed toward today’s unscientific recruitment methods.” (my translation.) I found myself nodding in agreement.
She continues “…what is required of a leader, what is expected of a leader, and what a leader is assumed to be capable of… Neurotic, extroverted — all of that is completely wrong from a research perspective.” (My translation.)
Neurotic and extroversion may create the image of an energetic, charismatic, and efficient leader. However, such traits alone reveal very little about how well a person supports others, listens, or develops and navigates their team.
They tell us nothing about a person’s values. They do not reveal how someone behaves in a group, how they sustain themselves under pressure, how they inspire hope when morale is low, or how they respond to crises, conflicts, and sudden changes in circumstances.
The Leadership Crisis in Today’s Workplace
As the interview continued, Liisa Keltikangas-Järvinen explained that the interviewer may influence as much as 80% of a hiring decision. Recruitment outcomes are heavily shaped by the interviewer’s own beliefs, assumptions, and values.
If an organization is looking for a leader, perhaps the interview should be conducted by someone who embodies the kind of leadership they are actually seeking. Better yet, what if the people who will be led by that person had a meaningful voice in the process? This is especially relevant when someone is being promoted from within a team. Rather than focusing solely on credentials and performance metrics, employees could be invited to share the positive qualities they see in one another. Every person has strengths worth recognizing.
Modern Recruitment Often Overlooks True Leadership
I have personally been searching for work since October, and I have noticed how much recruitment has become outsourced. The challenge often begins with the process itself. Before candidates are even considered, the hiring organization has already narrowed the field by defining specific qualifications, assumptions, and expectations.
For example, none of my leadership experiences are visible in my educational history or work experience alone. In many modern recruitment systems, that means I would likely be filtered out before anyone ever had the opportunity to meet me.
Because I believe in God rather than coincidence, I trust that even closed doors serve a purpose. I see them as blessings rather than disappointments.
Still, I believe there is a broader issue worth discussing.
When we build systems around assumptions, we often end up selecting people who match our assumptions rather than people who possess the qualities we actually need. We choose images instead of substance.
I highly recommend listening to the interview or reading the book if you have the opportunity. Although its primary focus is selfishness and individualism, it also highlights many of the structural problems affecting modern workplaces.
Christian Leadership Builds Rather Than Controls
Looking back on my own life, I can now see clearly which prayer God was answering all along. I still would not describe myself as a good leader or a good shepherd. But I will say this: on my own, I am capable of nothing. Thankfully, Christ walks with me and works through me.
If possible, when I gather references for future opportunities, I would like them to come from people who have personally experienced how I work and interact with others rather than from people who simply know my credentials.
As the name and content of this blog suggest, my goal is not to change people. I believe every person is walking their own path, and my role is simply to help them along the way. I am not seeking something for myself. I have already received more than I deserve.
If our improvised performance had consisted of people who did not want to speak, we would have performed a pantomime. But that was not the case. Each person was free to participate in the way that felt most natural to them, and we had a wonderful time together. Judging by the laughter, the audience enjoyed it as well.
To me, a good leader is someone who accepts people as they are while creating conditions in which they can flourish. Not by forcing everyone into the same mold, but by helping each individual thrive within their own unique role.
How Poor Leaders Taught Me About Leadership
I have worked in environments where my creativity blossomed but was never recognized or valued. I was literally placed in a workstation that did not fit me, expected to conform to a mold that was never designed for who I was. My opinions were requested, but they were not truly welcome. Over time, I withered. Without that experience, however, this blog would not exist.
For that reason, I am grateful even for the poor leaders I encountered along the way. One store manager I worked under stole merchandise and then blamed the rest of us. Yet even that experience taught me something valuable about leadership. It taught me how to build trust and faith within a group. The sales team became what I affectionately called my “groundhog family” ❤️
I was only in my twenties at the time. Needless to say, experiences like these never appear on a résumé or a recruitment form. Yet they often teach us far more about leadership than any title ever could.
God Places a Shepherd
I have been surprised by this entire journey, by what God has been shaping within me. His creation. For years, I did not fully understand it. In truth, I only began to grasp it after returning from Vaasa.
At my confirmation camp, I prayed for the first time about becoming a good shepherd. I wanted to know how to help people. I wanted to know how to bring out the best in them. I wanted to understand how their true selves could emerge and flourish.
Because my memory failed me, I accidentally told my new friends in Vaasa that I had been fifteen years old when I first prayed that prayer. I was actually fourteen. And now, twenty-six years later, through the eyes and words of others, I can finally see the answer.
No human being could have scripted something like this. We can study. We can earn degrees. We can aim toward something. We can collect titles and achievements in the eyes of the world. But only God can provide the right experiences at exactly the right time.
Looking back, Vaasa felt almost like a personal final examination. At no point did I think, “I need to take charge,” or “I need to tell everyone how things are”. The only thing I consciously tried to do was to include everyone, create a safe and open atmosphere, respect each person as they were, and help maintain peace within the group. So I prayed, constantly.
We Need More Shepherds Than Bosses
If you are searching for a new leader for your company, I encourage you to rethink the process. You already have experience with many different kinds of leaders. You know what worked and what did not. So be willing to try something different, especially if previous solutions have failed to produce the results you hoped for. What do you have to lose? Pray for God’s plan to unfold, and the outcome is guaranteed. The results may take time to become visible, but God’s timing has never been the same as ours 💖
As I reflect on leadership today, I find myself returning to a simple truth: people are not projects to be managed. They are individuals entrusted to our care. The leaders who leave the deepest mark on our lives are rarely those with the most impressive titles, the strongest personalities, or the most polished résumés. They are the ones who see people. They listen. They create safety. They inspire trust. They help others become more of who they were created to be.
That, to me, is the difference between a boss and a shepherd.
And perhaps that is exactly what our workplaces, communities, and even our churches need more of today.
1 Peter 5:2–3 (NIV)
“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”
I love you 💖
Let’s bloom together 🌿
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